natarimalik

busy bee

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natarimalik

Dec 20, 2018

hello hello~

2 min read

_{i know nobody reads my journals but it's nice to just update one since i haven't done much on this site ;;}

_{things have been pretty decent for me lately. 2018 was not great to me whatsoever but i still pulled through it}

_{i quit my job, moved out my sisters house & now i feel so free. i always hated living with my family. i love them but i just can't stand the drama & gossip they do, especially on me >:^/}

_{i honestly didn't think i was going to make it out this year. tis was VERY bad to me haha. i thought my heart was going to blow up sooner or later but i had high hopes for the new year}

_{i plan on drawing a lot more since i recently bought myself a tablet!! i've never been more happy!!!}

_{i can finally draw everything i wanted but more smoothly!!}

_idk.

_{sometimes i feel like, i'm stuck.}

_{on everything.}

_{i haven't had much good days & it makes me feel really ill. my mental health feels so low & i feel alone. especially when i get emotionally sick. drawing has been the only thing helping me this much.}

_{but like i mentioned,}

_{things are getting a bit okay}

_{also, i love dva more than anything in my life atm so she's been keeping me going hurr~}

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natarimalik

Jan 23, 2018

bby vent

2 min read

_{i've been active here for a few months now & i'm sure i don't got active watchers but i always feel bad about not drawing.}

_{i mean.....i actually have been drawing a lot lately but i never had the motivation to finish it!}

_{there all W.I.P's & i beat myself up whenever i can't finish it no matter how hard i try ): ( thats what she said )}

_{i have too much unfinished art that it makes me really sad whenever i pass by them because i have different coloring styles every now & then so i can't just go back & finished them if that makes sense(??)}

_{i'm forcing myself to draw & FINISH WHAT I STARTED}

_{i want to post more here, i really do i hate being so darn lazy )))))))))))))))))))':}

_{me @ myself: FINISH IT. FINISH IT. FIN ISH THE FUS KCING D RAWI NGG aAAAAAAAAA}

!!!

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natarimalik

Oct 18, 2017

$10-16 emergency commissions!

3 min read

_{please commission me i'll even do furries i don't mind

i would love to put my prices higher { ha HAH }
but i want people to be able to afford this??

i lost all my savings due to problems. i have nothing atm & i don't get paid til every other 2 weeks
i need side money & i would love to draw for you???

pls i'm broke & sad}

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natarimalik

Oct 3, 2016

Someday

3 min read

my laptop started working better now so I've been active here a lil bit lately (-:
ever since I graduated life has been giving me such a pain in the ass. I lost so many friends over my dumb mistakes
I lost the love of my life because I couldn't be good enough for him. I really tried with him but we both knew we weren't good healthy for each other. I've had tons of family problems cause I wasn't going to college this year & ashsgdsdkjk

life hasn't been treating me so good as much as I thought. I mean, I had my good days but they never really last long
but now that summer is over I got a good job that I like somewhat. I'm going to cosmetology school but I might drop out cause I can't keep up with the tasks & I always feel really dumb since I don't have a partner so I have to do everything on my own. plus paying for my own school has been giving me such gr8 stress I actually wouldn't mind getting hit by a car one of these days as bad as it sounds lol
I actually miss being in highschool again.
I miss some of my friends & I miss a lot of people back then.
it really does suck growing up & I really don't know if I can handle it any longer
I hate living with my mom & finding a good loyal roommate makes me more stressed
I wish I didn't fuck up in school. I really wish I tried harder
& now months later & I'm still a mess but a bigger mess that cries to everything
I just wanna live alone & be happy with who I am & what I've done.

I guess the only good thing now that I have in my life is my new boyfriend. he's been helping me a lot with my depression & emotional crap it feels good knowing he actually cares u____u ;
I know you have to work really hard to get what you always wanted in life
but jeez. I wish someone didn't sugarcoat me anything bout life & get my mind prepared for the future back then

I wanna keep ranting but I'll keep going on & on-
I just wanna be really happy with my life. that's all I ever wanted
I wish I didn't take some things for granted
I have such a bad thoughts about everything in life & in myself. but I think that's cause I don't really have supportive family members so I guess doing everything myself just gives me anxiety I just wanna end my life sometimes.
someday /-:

srry for my dramatic post
{ 10/3/16 }

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natarimalik

May 2, 2016

I Am Back BUTT..

2 min read

_{hello hello long time no eye}

I haven't been here in mONTHS so sorry, real life is getting me busy finally & do I like it? no. not one bit BUT I am doing good. a lot of terrible things have happened ALREADY for me this year but ya know, what can you do? POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO KEEP YOU ALIVE FOR A WHILE.

anyways

reason why I needed to write this post was so people can understand that I'm a lazy son of a bitch & it's not that I'm not "ACTIVE" it's just that my computer is really really bad & I'm not kidding. I download so many things that I guess it's slowing down my computer & a lot of ads pop up & I don't know how to get rid of it nor do I really have energy to look it up. it's just certain websites make my laptop freeze ex: Gaia online, Deviantart, Tumblr etc. YouTube works great but a lot of ads pop up & it's really annoying

looking back at my old art makes me wanna draw again but better ya'll feel? yee, thought so

I'll be making art when I get time off from school which is after school or weekends lol. I've been missing a lot of school so I can't really continue doing that. if I could I would so ditch to make art hell yeah making art to end war

that's all I gotta say for now. I could've just wrote "I'm back with art hi" instead of this long ass big waste of time post but whAT CAN YA DO????? (-:

thanks for reading

-nat

{5/1/2016}

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Featured

hello hello~ by natarimalik, journal

hello hello~

Dec 20, 2018

i know nobody reads my journals but it's nice to just update one since i haven't done much on this site ;; things have been pretty decent for me lately. 2018 was not great to me whatsoever but i still pulled through it i quit my job, moved out my sisters house & now i feel so free. i always hated living with my family. i love them but i just can't stand the drama & gossip they do, especially on me >:^/ i honestly didn't think i was going to make it out this year. tis was VERY bad to me haha. i thought my heart was going to blow up sooner or later but i had high hopes for the new year i plan on drawing a lot more since i recent

bby vent by natarimalik, journal

bby vent

Jan 23, 2018

i've been active here for a few months now & i'm sure i don't got active watchers but i always feel bad about not drawing. i mean.....i actually have been drawing a lot lately but i never had the motivation to finish it! there all W.I.P's & i beat myself up whenever i can't finish it no matter how hard i try ): ( thats what she said ) i have too much unfinished art that it makes me really sad whenever i pass by them because i have different coloring styles every now & then so i can't just go back & finished them if that makes sense(??) i'm forcing myself to draw & FINISH WHAT I STARTED i want to post more here, i reall

$10-16 emergency commissions! by natarimalik, journal

$10-16 emergency commissions!

Oct 18, 2017

~pinksparklesplz (https://www.deviantart.com/pinksparklesplz):iconpinksparklesplz::iconpinksparklesplz: please commission me i'll even do furries i don't mind i would love to put my prices higher { ha HAH } but i want people to be able to afford this?? i lost all my savings due to problems. i have nothing atm & i don't get paid til every other 2 weeks i need side money & i would love to draw for you??? pls i'm broke & sad :iconpinksparklesplz::iconpinksparklesplz::iconpinksparklesplz:

Someday by natarimalik, journal

Someday

Oct 3, 2016

I Am Back BUTT.. by natarimalik, journal

I Am Back BUTT..

May 2, 2016

hello hello long time no eye I haven't been here in mONTHS so sorry, real life is getting me busy finally & do I like it? no. not one bit BUT I am doing good. a lot of terrible things have happened ALREADY for me this year but ya know, what can you do? POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO KEEP YOU ALIVE FOR A WHILE. anyways reason why I needed to write this post was so people can understand that I'm a lazy son of a bitch & it's not that I'm not "ACTIVE" it's just that my computer is really really bad & I'm not kidding. I download so many things that I guess it's slowing down my computer & a lot of ads pop up & I don't know how to get rid